“Kind hearts are the gardens, Kind thoughts are the roots, Kind words are the flowers, Kind deeds are the fruits.” (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

“Take it down!” The voice bellowed in my head.  “It’s unkind.  Do I really need to remind you that you’re not Ms. Perfect?” The Holy Spirit often communicates with me in this manner; It speaks audibly in my thoughts and with a distinctive tone, to help distinguish between the authentic spiritual downloads I receive versus the standard neurotic thoughts that frequently hijack my mind. 

A few days back I posted a blog on modern dating versus the traditions of my generation, sharing a few examples of men I had dated and their approach when it came to picking up the check.  There was the “Big Spender,” the “Cheapskate,” and the “Just Right,” in a somewhat clunky Three Bears metaphor meant to highlight their differences. 

The “Big Spender” is a disreputable character I had once dated, who preyed upon the gullibility and skewered priorities of younger women, and offered a dizzying ride of entertainment courtesy of his Platinum card. As with most individuals I know and write about, his actual name remained anonymous.  I felt vindicated serving up a few punches of justified snark, for in the decades to follow his once-harmless profligate spending evolved into convicted financial fraud perpetrated against innocent victims.  A line is drawn when others are harmed.  

The “Cheapskate” characterization of the second bear slowly nagged at my conscience. While he and I did not engage in a full-fledged relationship, he remained in the peripheral of my contacts for many years.   He’s a decent human being, as imperfect as the next, with his worst offense towards me being an uneasy date due his fiscal penny-pinching as a man of means.  I felt ashamed writing what I did; it was thoughtless and glib considering how I would feel if a former date decided to belittle me for a perceived infraction.  Each of us has character flaws and bugaboos, and providing the golden rule of “do no harm” is followed, are we to judge? 

If we pay attention, we learn to appreciate when life course corrects with a little kick to the butt. It’s a reminder that we’re given the opportunity to end on higher ground, evolve through the lessons, and truthfully admit when we’re wrong.  It’s how we finish, not how we begin, that counts.