Matthew 6:3-4:  “But when you give to the poor and do acts of kindness, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing (give in complete secrecy), so that your charitable acts will be done in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you”. 

A post popped up on one of my social media feeds this morning about the act of giving and those who attempt to wear it like a badge.  It made me think about generosity, altruism and the various personalities I’ve encountered during my years.

There’s a popular expression that says, “If you want to know the character of any man, watch how he treats those who can do nothing for him.”   I’ve always found this to be true.  There’s an unwritten rule among women in the dating world that suggests to watch how their date treats the waitstaff in a restaurant.  Character is often invisible to the eye but presents itself through unspoken action. 

The same can be said about acts of altruism and a generous nature.  Frank Sinatra, the crooning superstar affectionately known as “Ol’ Blue Eyes,” was also known to have a complicated disposition and volatile temper, both of which were eclipsed by his eminent kindness and overflowing generosity to those in his orbit.  There are countless stories of him writing that much-needed check, of paying off an incurred debt for a friend or once the college tuition of the young waitress in his favorite coffee shop, and the legendary tips given to service staff with the concealed palm of his hand.  While it would be rare for someone of his stature not to be acknowledged for their philanthropic work on the world stage, his most meaningful acts of giving were cloaked in anonymity.

In my everyday experience, the most generous people are often those who can less afford to give of their material wealth.  If you ever find yourself in need of a hot meal, or a safe place to rest for a moment, seek out those who are of less fortune but rich in empathy, for they are the most willing to share.  Empathy is born of one’s own struggles that forge a sympathetic knowing of what another is experiencing.  A loving heart, enlightened by the trials of adversity, creates in a person one who is earnest to help their brother in a time of need. 

I once knew a woman who had a self-serving sense of charity.  During her evening walks with a friend, they encountered a homeless man on their route.  Upon discovering it was this man’s birthday during one encounter, they treated him to a chicken dinner from a neighborhood take-out.  Afterward, she went on to regale anyone who would listen about her act of noblesse.  The “birthday dinner story” had a longer life span than a Queen termite.  For $11.99, a marinated chicken thigh with a side of seasoned rice elevated her to Mother Teresa in her mind. A sentiment she was only too eager to share.

Giving should always be done with a willing heart and when possible, in private. The reward is in the feeling one gets from knowing another’s burden was lessened, if even for a moment, and that the shared invisible connection we have to others was given a jolt of love ignited by you.  If you want to alleviate your troubles for a day, be of service to others.

And be like Frank.  Sing, swagger, love hard and rumble, but be your own version of Mr. Anonymous.