“True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils.” (Baltasar Gracian)

In a humorous episode of “I Love Lucy,” Lucy mistakenly thinks Ricky, Fred, and Ethel have forgotten her birthday. In reality, they’re avoiding the topic because they’re secretly planning a surprise party. Feeling sorry for herself and certain she has no friends, Lucy goes to a park to sit alone. There, she meets a ragtag band of misfits called “The Friends of the Friendless,” united by their shared loneliness. She joins their march and leads them into the Tropicana to confront Ricky, hoping to prove she’s not friendless. Instead, she walks right into her surprise party, confirming that everyone really does love Lucy.

Earth feels lonelier these days. More and more adults find themselves isolated by changing circumstances, distance, and the passing deaths of older friends. Across the internet, strangers cry into the void, “Why can’t I make new friends?” As we age, building connections becomes harder, as life often shifts unexpectedly. Over time, friends can drift apart due to geography, lifestyle changes, and obligations that take precedence. The internet and AI have replaced much of our face-to-face interaction, and our ability to connect personally is fading. We’re slowly losing our social skills. Add to that daily living seems to take more of our energy.

Friendships form naturally when we’re young, built on shared experiences like high school kinship, college fraternization, and entry into the workforce that bring new faces and opportunities. We bond over life’s many firsts, with mutual engagements knitting us together. As we date or marry, our circles expand with the blending of our partner’s friends. I regret not nurturing certain friendships from my past, but life routinely got in the way. There are friendships meant to fade with time, fitting the idea that people enter our lives for “a reason or a season,” while others that feel designed to go the distance require effort and intentionality to sustain, much like a romantic relationship.

I’ve stepped outside my comfort zone in recent weeks, prompted by the realization that tomorrow is not a guarantee. In the early 90s, I had a friendship that likely wasn’t meant to last a lifetime but ended abruptly after an unpleasant incident. The fault was mine, as hurtful words were exchanged during a challenging time in life and my response was ungracious. Deciding to clear some of my rubble from the past, I made an effort to track down her whereabouts to offer an apology that was more than 30 years overdue. I found an email address and sent an ‘e-pology,’ only to have it bounce back as the address was no longer valid. Relying on a people finder website, I found what I believed to be a current home address and mailed my apology. I still don’t know if it reached her, but even without a response, I feel more at ease for having made the effort.

Then there are the friendships that should never happen. I’m pulling one from the archives and keeping it opaque, as I’d rather not invite another thumping from the Holy Spirit to rethink wayward words. Back in the early 2000s, I considered the idea of befriending a male acquaintance I knew casually within my social sphere. Since our orientations were different and there was no chance of romantic attraction on either side, the thought of having a friend who saw the world differently was enticing. I realize now that vetting a potential friendship for common interests and comparable principles deserves a reflection greater than moving winter coats to the back of the closet at spring’s first bloom, but I figured, let the chips fall. Scratch that—I dove headfirst into an empty cement pool.

I was given tickets to Las Vegas for a weekend, courtesy of a former employer. With airfare, hotel, and expenses covered, I figured why not invite an almost-friend along? It seemed like the perfect opportunity to get to know each other and have some fun. Let’s just say, Vegas is not the ideal place to discover the proclivities of a casual acquaintance. 

Life Lesson: Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.  

If you’re fortunate, a few close friends will remain by your side through the journey, like gold bars in the vault of your life. Keep investing in them. To any friend from my past, if I slipped out of your life quietly, losing touch with time, know that the warmth and fondness I felt for you still live in my heart. As the Golden Girls once sang, “thank you for being a friend…”